When God Chooses to Answer Our Prayers...

Picture taken from: http://tammy-a.blogspot.com/

God chooses to answer our prayers on His time. I've always learned that everything would happen in God's time, according to God's will. For me, it was through wanting to go to conference. I don't know when I actually will get to, but I'm sure if God's will is for me to go, then at the right moment, He will guide me. A lot of it has been because of my impatience, that I've learned. When you think about the phrase; "Patience is a virtue," it's clear what it means - waiting for God's will to provide what it needs to, in God's time.

Heavenly Father, I pray we learn to be patient, to accept that everything is according to your will, and will happen in your time. For this, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ the Lord. Amen.

Paradise

"Victory and triumph to the Son of God,
Now entering his great duel, not of arms,
But to vanquish by wisdom hellish wiles!
The Father knows the Son; therefore secure
Ventures his filial virtue, though untried,
Against whate'er may tempt, whate'er seduce,
Allure, or terrify, or  undermine.
Be frustrate, all ye stratagems of Hell,
And, devilish machinations, come to nought!"
                                (Paradise Regained, Bk. 1., 173 - 181)

The interesting thing about life, I think I've said before, is that you never stop learning. One thing I've learned over the past few days is something about paradise. In Milton's Paradise poems, Paradise Lost and Paradise Regained, we find long and in depth analysis into the fall and redemption of humanity. The quotation above comes from Paradise Regained, and is an echoing of the Gloria of Heaven. Though the language used in this passage is powerful, it is intentionally reflective of the power of God versus Satan.

I think for me, I've learned to trust that God will always be victorious. The fact is, Paradise Regained is about how after we've fallen, the one way to get back up, is to accept that we have fallen, and to see the opportunities we have to rise again, and the people who are there to help. It's about seeing, that before we can reach paradise in Heaven, before we can achieve that paradise - we lost the paradise we live in now, and we have to regain it first; we have to regain the paradise in which we live, by looking and what it really is worth, and working to see it as the paradise it is, through the environment, the people, and the blessings we have.

Lord, this is my prayer, that your will be done, that your kingdom come, through our hearts, through our minds, through the works of Your hand.

Amen.

So This "Studying" Thing Kind of Stinks...

I'd like very much to rather NOT do it, but what choice do I have? Maybe I'm just really tired. I guess I'm really going to have to focus tomorrow. Anyways, what's new with me lately?

First off, studying has been keeping my mind off my heart. I've kinda let my imagination run wild again. I've been dreaming crazy dreams (if you call it dreaming!) and writing down my craziest thoughts. My room is finally clean (sort of..) and I'm almost all set for the upcoming school year. The weather's been really nice here, not as hot as it has been lately. I guess this time of year, although hectic, has been kind of a blessing.

It's been really nice to get back in touch, and realize that beyond all this is a sense that after all I've gone through, I'm still just me.

On a sadder note, it's been almost two weeks since Christina disappeared. As usual, she's still in my prayers, and all of us miss her. It's incredible the effect she's had on us with all she's been through with us. But at this stage, what's more amazing is how people are being called to pray together, which proves to me how awesome a community is, when God uses a single person to speak. And so, I'd like to end this blog as usual, with a prayer.

Lord God, there are so many things in our lives that we need to pray for, but only in your time, only according to your will. Lord, we want to thank you for the chance to grow together in prayer, and to know that you truly are present. We want to pray in thanksgiving for every blessing, as well as every trial, you've given us. We also want to pray, for the people who are going through tough times, that they keep faith in you, that they never let go of their focus, and that their hearts remain forever yours. Lord, most of all, we want to pray for the CFC YFC Conference happening this weekend, that it be a blessing and inspiration to everyone, that it shows people the real meaning of "Call for Hope," that they never lose hope in You, knowing you will bring Christina home, wherever that is for her now. Amen.

Lesson Two

Yeah, I know. But I'm running out of titles. Besides, what does it matter?

Anyways, so I know I need to get my head back in reality. I'm clearly not alright here. The thing is, my life as it stands, is doing a 180 degree flip on me. I can hardly keep up.

So I guess this lesson is really to expect the unexpected. I sure didn't. I should have at least known it would go crazy on me. Man, nothing's working out!

Lord, I pray that things be alright again...whatever that is. I just wish I knew what it is you're planning, and why it has to be such a roller coaster ride for me. If it is your will Lord, then guide me.

Amen.

Lesson One

With all that's been happening, I realize that I can put things together. Reading Mitch Albom's The Five People You Meet In Heaven and putting it together with recent events, I know that this much is true:

"This is the greatest gift God can give you: to understand what happened in your life. To have it explained. It is the peace you have been searching for." - The Five People You Meet In Heaven

The thing is, after putting these things together, I realize that each person has their own lessons in a critical situation. My first, is to be thankful for everything, and hopeful for things to come.

To be thankful

What I think this means is that we need to accept that all that has happened is God's will, and perfect timing. It's funny, when you think about how much you say "I", and never "we." But I guess, even through the bad times, we need to be thankful. At the very least, for the experiences gained. The worst possible situation will give us something nice, if we keep praying, and remain thankful and accepting, and as much as we try to hide, does result in equivalent exchange.

To be hopeful

This is something else altogether. It's not like we can feel hope, because, the way most people use the word, is "have hope." It's like something we can grab and hold on to, or to let go of. Hope is, remaining faithful in times of tribulation. The imagery I most often associate with hope comes from a show I used to watch as a child.

"The light inside is hope." and "Hope continues to shine no matter darkness tries to hide it."

Hope is a shining light, that is always there. "Have hope."

The one thing learned most of all for me, is that having hope and being thankful will give you a peace inside, knowing that God has given you His greatest gift: understanding and knowing that everything will be okay.

Amen.

I Realize That It's Been A While

I haven't had much chance to update lately. I guess I haven't really given myself a chance to. I suppose with all that's happening, I haven't wanted to.

Lately, I think I've been trying to get away from certain people, avoid doing certain things. I've had a heart of humility and servitude, and I guess I just didn't want those people to spoil it. Heck, I'm only human, and sometimes, I don't even understand what I'm doing. But there are always going to be people I have to hide from. I'm not one of those perky, always happy type people, who isn't afraid of telling everyone how they feel. Actually, I am afraid of telling people how I feel. Sometimes how I feel shouldn't be how I feel, and so I hide. Sometimes, how I feel will burden other people, so I refuse to talk.

Although it's been a long time since last updating, that's pretty much all that's been going on: fear, worry, anger, emotion, drama, but most of all, prayer.

Anyways, I'll try to do the updating thing more often, but also, I'll pray more.

Lord, I pray for Christina, that she is safe, where ever she is, and that she is under your constant watch.

Amen.